The best kind of wedding...

You have your highly catered, socially proper, expensive black tie weddings.
Then you have your low-budget, matchy-match, buy everything at Wal-Mart wedding.
You have weddings with an ultra-religious theme, as if paying desperate homage to God will score you more points (hint: it won't)
You have the 'outdoorsy folks' wedding, with strapping bearded groomsmen and maybe skydiving vows or something else that makes your guests and friends uncomfortable.
I've even seen (never attended) alcohol fueled redneck binges involving the colors of your favorite racecar driver or something equally preposterous.

And then you have the wedding that truly reflects the personality of the people celebrating a union. These are the ones that are fun to attend, what with personal touches and custom cakes. I once went to a wedding of a successful artist. It was perfect- a harpist played softly in a corner, sunlight streamed through the stained glass windows- scattering jewel tones on the tablecloths. The cake was a pale peach, smooth under a blanket of fondant, with exquisite handwrought tiger lilies on top.
With this appreciation for things personal and unique, it seems fitting that I migrated into the business of custom jewelry design. For many years now, couples from all walks of life have recited their vows as they slid a creation of mine on one another's fingers. And that, my friends, is totally cool.

If you are getting married, now or ever, I am hoping that you would not just open a dating website, choose a face after a bit of browsing, and head over the the Justice of Peace. Right? If you would do this, please stop reading now and check yourself into a hospital. Or the Army.
No, in reality, you will spend time getting to know this person, discovering their unique attributes and quirks. You will fall in love with the way they pick all of the green marshmallows out of their cereal in the morning. You will grit your teeth when they change their mind at the restaurant and chase down the waiter to alter their order. You will know exactly what candy to bring them halfway through Lord of the Rings.

A ring will be the only permanent wearable element of your wedding, the one item that will outlast the cake, stay on once the rental tux goes back, and (hopefully) fit once the wedding dress does not. So make sure that this represents your love, your interests and personalities and tastes. Shop from a local jeweler, do a bit of research on who you're dealing with.
If you're brave enough, order a custom design, have a story to go along with you rings, wear something completely unique and out of the norm. Don't like diamonds? Fine, more and more people are admitting that a colorless gem holds no interest for them. No one is forcing you to wear something traditional.
Is your relationship conventional? Then why should your ring be? Did you pick your SO out of a mass-produced corporate morass? No? Then why pick the wedding band/commitment ring/promise ring out of the same mess?

Jewelry designs & photos copyright 2007 © Sarah Jane Christenson

Christmas Bell Ringer Angst

Don't you hate it when the Salvation Army bell ringers change shifts while you're shopping? You toss them a five on the way in, thanked by a shivering smile and nod...

You do your shopping, wander back outside and notice the ting-a-ling-ling getting just a bit more vigorous with the door opening. Complacent, almost smug in the fact that you've already given, you move your head to nod in the direction of the red-clad Army ringer. But- it isn't the same guy! It isn't even a guy this time, but a stout, grim-faced woman, intent on getting a donation from you.

Your mind whirls frantically- maybe you should have given after your shopping instead of before. Maybe you should just give a dollar (or a quarter, depending on what miserable retail job employs you this year) on your way in but save another dollar (or quarter) for the way out. Maybe you should forgo charitable donations altogether and invest in Google stock. Maybe you should make a mad dash for the ringing bell, scaring the woman into submission.
You glance at her again, facing the gimlet eye directly. She has sized you up- the iPod, the leather jacket, the cell phone attached to your ear. Surely you could afford a dollar to drop in the little red slot. You attempt a smile, duck your head, pretend to dig in an empty pocket.
You've made it past, your car is even visible from here. It's all behind you now, and you've vowed once again not to let it bother your soul. The car clicks comfortingly as the doors unlock, the doors that were locked to protect against people such as the red donation buckets go to help. You toss your packages into the trunk and are just about to slide in your seat when a voice rings out somewhere behind you, in the distance,

"Merry Christmas!"

Esther

I'm cute and I know it.So there.

How to make a Perfect Paper Snowflake

Howdy folks. In case you hadn't noticed, it's that time of year again. No, not the Disney character playoffs, but Christmas. Lights that can burn your house down, tinsel that can choke your pets, and gifts guaranteed to leave you feeling rather unfulfilled. But fear not! For I come to you with directions on how to make one of the best, cheapest, and least offensive decorations around. Not only are snowflakes completely politically correct, they fall into the 'Winter Decor' category, thus eliminating the need to tear them down on January 2nd. You are hereby granted permission to leave them up until January 3rd.

Here is what you'll need to get started. This is SNOWFLAKE BASIC.
Plain white paper. Sharp scissors. An iron. You do have an iron, right?

If you want SNOWFLAKE DELUXE, and you have any of these supplies lying around... well... you get the basic idea. I'm not going to hint too much here.

Ironing board is helpful. Protractor and/or 60º angle. Paper trimmer, paper punches, any shape. Ginger ale and popcorn.
First, allow me to say a word about those rectangular snowflakes I occasionally see hanging in someone's window or cubicle. Have you ever seen a rectangular snowflake? I didn't think so. I suspect it's just coincidence that your creation so closely resembles the 8.5 x 11" paper that came out of your printer, minus a few random triangles. In order to make a perfect snowflake we must first have:The perfect square.
I don't care what size it is- 3 inches or 2 feet- as long as all four sides measure the exact same and all 4 angles are 90º.
In fact, if you want to maximize your paper real estate while making multiple sizes, here are two layouts I commonly use:
All right. Now take your square and fold diagonally in half, lining up the points just as good as you can manage. Underachievers just stop right now, if you've even made it this far reading.Now you will have a triangle, or what I believe the origami masters call 'mountain'. Taking this triangle, roll it (without folding!) in half again,
sliding your finger down into the corner until the center is found. Like so. DO NOT FOLD!
THANK YOU. Now that you have found the center, pinch it ever so slightly at the bottom, along your original fold.
Now open. Your little pinch mark should look like this:Huzzah!~ You have found the dead center of your square! Leaving the original fold in place, you are now going to fold this right triangle into even thirds. If this seems confusing, allow me to rant: the crystal structure of snowflakes was, is, and always has been, hexagonal. That means six sided. Not eight, ten, or whatever your mind comes up with. You wouldn't draw a person with five legs, would you? No? Then don't friggin' cut a snowflake with eight arms just because it's easier to fold the paper! Thanks. Rant's over.
So, we are going to use our handy lil 60º angle to make perfect thirds. Before my highly intelligent husband found me this little dear, I always guessed. It worked most of the time, but if you have a way to make it easier on yourself, do so. Just remember- 60º
I've found that gently creasing the paper right along the edge of the angle works wonderfully. Just line up the bottom of the angle with the bottom of your 'mountain'. Or is it a 'valley'?

Either way, we are going for 2 new folds.

Make nice neat creases... fold it up until it looks like it's 'hugging' itself.

There. The trick is to keep the point intact. Without a nice point, we have an uneven and therefore off-symmetry snowflake. And that just will never do.

Then, fold this directly in half, once again keeping the point.You now have an odd little paper airplane looking thing. This is perfect.

See all those odd ends? We are going to snip them off without regard to their contribution to society, which were probably nil anyhow. Cut to the lowest line, which, if you've done right up til now, will be directly across the triangle, forming now a perfect isosceles triangle.That was all prep-work. If you unfolded the paper now, you wold be greeted by a perfect hexagon. Now you may attack the corners and angles with gusto, forming your lovely creation for all to enjoy.

I make all kinds of shapes, but find that the ones that start with a good sharp snip diagonally across have the most realistic and pleasing look.
Now begin cutting in detail, keeping the triangle tightly folded for symmetry. Cut out squares, follow natural angles, or get funky with twisty swirls. Have fun. Oh, and take a sip of ginger ale and a big handful of popcorn.

You've earned it.

Keep snipping. Remember that you are now cutting through twelve layers of paper, so your thumb may get a bit sore. I have seen some people use razors and self-healing mats, but I have never ascended to these heights of accuracy myself.

So, this shape may look like a piece of trim that fell off a Transformer, but wait'll you see it open!

Now for the deluxe touch. This part is tricky because you have to open the last fold and get the punches lined up. I don't have the hand strength (or a strong enough punch!) to make it thru 12 layers of paper...Punches make nice accents, because they hit places you just couldn't otherwise cut.

This is the point where I stick my tongue out for- balance, concentration, breathing technique... I don't rightly know. All I know is that Michael finds it funny and took a picture, but I didn't want the world to see how silly I look. Sorry, babe.

Now it looks like a Transformer from Polynesia.

Ready to unfold? Please do so carefully, the shard edges can become tangled and rip as the snowflake is opened.Viola! Looks nice, huh? Looks ready to tape onto your window, right?

Sorry. I know, I know, I am a hard taskmaster (mistress?), but we want a snowflake that stays open. And this is where your laundry appliance comes into play. Turn your iron on to a medium-low setting, making sure any steam setting is OFF. Soggy snowflakes suck.
Cover your creation tenderly with another piece of paper, making sure the cover is not jealous of it's brother's destiny, or trouble will ensue.
Funnily enough, you can't get me to iron in normal life. I have an LG Tromm series washer, the one with that awesome Steam setting that takes wrinkles out. Anything worse than that goes to the cleaners. But come snowflake time, or curtain-making with seam tape time, I'm an ironing fool.
Gently iron your snowflake, then lift the cover, again mindful of the envy that often springs up between decor paper and plain utility paper. They were once of the same house...

Ta-frickin'-da, baby!! You've got a perfect snowflake!!!

If I were really smart, I'd make one out of interfacing and iron it on my kid's shirt. But not while she's wearing it. That'd be mean.These little tiny ones are perfect for Christmas cards and dwarf doilies:

It's snowflake night at the Christenson Mental Asylum.

Here is Esther, demonstrating how NOT to use scissors:

Over the top? What's that mean?

Ooh! here's a fun- place a well-shaped flake on dark paper, spray some photo-mount or something, and sprinkle glitter over the top.

Gently lift the flake up, murmuring Christmas songs under your breath for effect...Cool.

Actually, not quite as cool as the real thing, but guaranteed not to melt on your eyelashes!